I know, I know. I haven’t blogged forever! But here’s the interesting part: I’ve actually started several blogs but never posted them.
Why? I realized it was spiritual warfare!
Every time I’d write something I thought, “Man, people are going to think that’s stupid.” I got self-conscious about how people would receive what I wrote so I dumped them. Stupid, huh?
Well, that’s what Satan does to you – he makes you feel stupid, inadequate, self-conscious, uninteresting, and basically not worthy of sharing your thoughts because who cares anyway?
I think that door opened for me because of some feedback I’ve received lately from one particular blog I wrote a while back about trusting God. That blog really hit a nerve with some folks who have had a hard time in life and feel as if God hasn’t been there for them or even that God has been against them! I’ve had a lot of conversation with these new friends – I really do feel them on this issues because I’ve been in that position in life – but I have to be honest and say I don’t think I’ve made a dent in their feelings about God.
Not that it’s my job to do that – it’s really between them and God not them and me. My job is to care for them, be their friend and sounding board, and share what I can about my own experiences. But when you hurt for someone and can’t do anything about it you feel powerless.
I get that same feeling every week when I preach at this transitional housing place for ex-cons. Interesting group of guys all of whom have been to prison for pretty intense crimes. About half of the guys in the room are believers at some level. Half are not and pretty much reject everything that is said about God. They just sit there on their phones or are impolite and have their own little conversations while I’m preaching. Honestly, it’s discouraging.
But I always have to remember when Satan is attacking me and making me feel as if I’m worthless at this ministry stuff that God’s Word never returns empty (Isaiah 55:11). Satan is trying to get me to stop sharing God’s Word and I just gotta keep grinding!
So, this is a short note to everyone out there to let you know that I’m still alive and I plan to blog more often! But I could use your prayers to keep me focused on Jesus and not on my own self-doubt!
Satan is bugger and will take advantage of any foothold you give him. Help me shake him off so I can boldly share the Word of God whether everyone likes it or not!
Thank you for this Tom. I have been feeling this intensely as of late, Particularly with my job right now (which is “to get a job”) My feelings of inadequacy continue to plague me every time I start another application, before every interview. I will be praying that God will replace these feelings with the knowledge that he walks with me into every situation and I will pray that you will be encouraged and will never let anything stop you from delivering His message through you in your own way, as I know from experience that your voice often gets through when others fall flat.
Thank you and Lisa for all you’ve done for me personally and all you do for all of those you serve in Jesus name.
Good post. Thank you.
Tom! The struggle is real, I completely agree! You are in my thoughts and prayers as you continue to do His work and spread His word. He knows the timing when His word will be received by them. We are just the vessel to help light the way.
I know you must feel like your hitting your head against the wall with me, but I respect your persistence and your avoidance of judgement.
Love ya, my friend!
Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s just what I needed to hear today. I just wrote a book breaking each book of the Bible down to one page followed by a few questions, a call to action and a self discovery section. It’s been my morning devotional and has kept me in the Bible for years. I loved writing it and now I’m trying to decide if people would enjoy reading it. Satan has made me feel so stupid, inadequate and all those other adjectives you just mentioned about trying to share this with others. Yesterday I gave a few chapters to a person who has a PhD in theology and literally said, “Tell me if you enjoy reading this or if it’s painful.”
I’ll pray for you and you pray for me as we follow the Holy Spirit’s leading. He asks us to be vulnerable and do hard stuff, but if we get to one person the reward in the end is worth it.
Thanks for helping me today. I’m feeling the spiritual warfare.
So glad the Holy Spirit moved you!! God is GOOD!!