What’s the Deal with Sex?

Abortion, homosexuality, rape, incest, sex trafficking, prostitution, sexual violence against women, pedophilia, adultery, pornography, objectification of women, HIV/Aids, sexually transmitted diseases (STD), pre-marital sex, adolescent and teen sexual activity.

Quite a list, huh?

Of all the things wrong with fallen man in this fallen world our fascination with and perversion of sex seems to me to be the most difficult to overcome…even for Christians. And because sex seems to invade our whole society in some way or another, the consequences of its ungodly use is tearing us apart.

So, what’s the deal with sex?

One of the things I love about the Bible is how honest it is. You would figure writers of a religious book would sanitize it to make it more holy and righteous. But right in the pages of scripture are stories of rape, incest, prostitution, adultery, sexual violence, homosexuality and more all in its ugly detail. And not just by bit players in the story! These crimes were committed by major characters, such as David and Lot’s daughters.

If you read the Bible, you could figure out from the very beginning sex was going to be a major trap for us. Remember Adam and Eve? They were in the Garden of Eden and had no idea they had no clothes on. In fact, they had no idea what clothes were! Neither did they know what nakedness was! But once they ate that forbidden fruit giving them the knowledge of good and evil, they recognized their nakedness and were afraid! Think about that for a second – they were afraid of God seeing them naked. They were ashamed of how God created them! So, God covered them up and we’ve been struggling with our sexuality ever since!

I believe our insatiable demand for sex is tearing up our culture and society. Think about it, everyone thinks it is their right to have sex whenever they want with whomever they want anyway they want. The result?

  • The so-called “Rape Culture” a sociological concept for a setting in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality.
  • Abortion on demand used as birth control when sex results in pregnancy (rape, incest and life of the mother represent only 3 percent of all abortions.)
  • Sex-trafficking where demand has created a multi-billion-dollar industry of sex slaves
  • Pornography/Erotica – another multi-billion-dollar enterprise catering to the sexual desires of both men and women (men didn’t buy 125 million copies of Fifty Shades of Grey)
  • Skyrocketing cases of child sexual abuse (1 of 5 girls; 1 of 20 boys) much of which is perpetrated by a family member
  • Adultery with rates as high as 50 percent of all married couples!
  • Half-naked women used to sell everything from beer to burgers to animal rights activism to fashion.
  • Normalization of homosexuality as something to be embraced and celebrated
  • Normalization of strip clubs in every city
  • A hyper-sexualized culture where sexting, hook-ups and even adultery have their own aps
  • Depression, Anxiety, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder because of sexual abuse
  • Dysfunctional relationships as a result of dysfunctional sexual history

According to Brian Mustanski, Ph.D.  in an article printed in Psychology Today (December 6, 2011), the median number of sexual thoughts per day for men is 18.6 and for women is 9.9. Not surprising given how we all are bombarded with sexual imagery just about everywhere we go!

It must break God’s heart to see how corrupt we’ve become using sex to gratify our desires instead of its intended purpose to be engaged only in the covenant relationship of marriage.

I want to say here that this blog isn’t about hammering anyone or shaming anyone or trying to make anyone feel guilty. I believe everyone falls short in this area in some way or another so there are no righteous people here.

No, the point of this blog is to remind us that we all need Jesus!

Satan is working overtime in this area, in my opinion, both inside and outside the faith to convince people that their sexual appetites are appropriate, and it is their right to explore them as they see fit. People are blinded to the fact that when one buys Satan’s argument, they are actually saying they don’t need Jesus!

Satan is pretty clever here. The logic goes like this: If I am not doing anything wrong, I don’t need to be saved from it because it’s not wrong. If I don’t need to be saved from it, I don’t need a savior because there is nothing to be saved from. Thus, I don’t need Jesus. Like I said, pretty clever ploy, Satan.

Let’s examine how Satan has convinced us to pervert God’s plans for us by looking at some hot-button issues!

Abortion

Telling someone not to kill a child seems like a no-brainer, right? Here is how Satan has twisted our thinking so the unthinkable has become common place.

  • It’s not a child, it’s a fetus or cells
  • It’s about a woman’s choice and liberty not about killing a baby
  • It’s about reproductive health not killing a living thing
  • It’s about a woman’s freedom and lifestyle not about their responsibility and accountability for having sex
  • Men should have no say even though they are half the equation

Well, that’s one way to look at it, but it’s not God’s way of looking at it. He says that He knew us before we were born clearly saying we are planned and more than that loved by Him as His creation (Jeremiah 1:5, Psalm 139:16, Isaiah 49:5, Galatians 1:15, Luke 1:15). Here’s a fast fact: the first person to recognize Jesus was John the Baptist…in his mother’s womb! (Luke 1:41).

So, no, it’s not just a clump of cells or some other euphemism. It’s a child known by God with plans created by God for that child. Yet, we cling to Satan’s lie about this child because it is more convenient, meets our fallen needs better, and honestly allows us to do whatever we want without consequence. Satan has convinced us that abortion for birth control is our constitutional right. But God doesn’t care a lick about our constitution; He cares about His creation which we kill every day without hesitation or a second thought.

Homosexuality

Well, because I’ve talked about abortion, I may as well go all the way and take on homosexuality as well!

I have no doubt whatsoever in my mind that there are people who actually are, indeed, born that way! That may surprise some more of my conservative Christian friends but think about it. If we are born as fallen people it makes complete sense that part of that fallenness for some may be sexual fallenness, whether that be same-sex attraction, gender confusion, or even sexual deviancy. So, sure, people can be born broken in this area – we all are born broken in some area!!

As I’ve written before, while Satan wants us to embrace things God calls sin, those of us who follow God have no right to do so. God is sovereign not us; He calls the shots and makes the rules not us! Our job is simple: Don’t act on every impulse we have just because society says we can!

Certainly, celibacy for those who are same-sex attracted is a brutal cross to bear. But this is why those who would follow God need Jesus so badly! Instead of embracing the world and its cultural norms, we are to embrace Jesus and His ways, allowing Him to fill us in ways the world cannot. But again, if you don’t know Jesus or don’t think you need a savior in that area of your life, He cannot work in your life, which is exactly what Satan wants!

Pornography/Erotica/Sexualization of Society

I’m lumping these together because I think Satan’s tactic is the same for them.

I think we give a lot of lip service in this area; we all tacitly agree that pornography et al is an unhealthy thing. But what have we really done about it? Not a lot.

Satan has convinced us that we have a constitutional right of free speech to produce and view pornography, use sex to sell products, produce movies that routinely contain sex scenes, and basically objectify the body – especially the female body – for sexual gratification.

It should not surprise anyone that men think they are entitled to a woman’s body given their access to porn, strip clubs, sex in movies, and even advertising. Think about those Axe body spray commercials where the guy sprays himself and women literally throw themselves at him.

The truth is nobody really cares. Satan has us so conditioned with this stuff that we barely even recognize it because it is so commonplace in our society. I realized this one Super Bowl Sunday!

We usually have a little party at my place for Super Bowl. Years ago, a couple we know had young children and we were watching the game having a blast. Then a slew of commercials came on. Viagra, feminine hygiene products, commercials with women bouncing around in bikinis, and all the rest. We had to scramble like mad to find the remote to turn the channel so the kids wouldn’t see these ads.

It hit me later that I watch those commercials all the time and just pretty much ignored them. Yet, I am sure subliminally they were still having an effect.

Try this experiment to see if I’m right about all this: Keep track of every sexualized media you see during any given day on TV, in magazines, on billboards, on radio, and especially on the Internet. What do you think the count would be?

Satan is marinating us in this crap, and we don’t even know it. The result is a society that is numb to its own inappropriate sexualization and then is stunned at the elicit results that include rape, sexual abuse, pedophilia, objectification, sex trafficking, prostitution and all the rest.

And this gets me back to my point. We all need Jesus!

You know the difference between a non-believer and a believer?

A non-believer rebels against God’s ways and sins but doesn’t think what they are doing wrong when rejecting God’s ways in favor of their own.

A believer rebels against God’s ways and sins but hates their sin, fights against their sin, and knows they must rely on the saving grace of Jesus crucified to be forgiven for their transgressions.

We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. This is why we don’t judge others; we are all fallen and messed up people! How much more so those who do not have the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling in them!

No, our job is not to judge people, rather it is to care enough about those who currently embrace their sin to tell them about the saving and healing power of Jesus. We all know that in our own power we cannot defeat Satan and his schemes; our fight is a spiritual one and without Jesus in that fight we are unarmed.

I am convinced that Satan will continue to use sex and all its delineations to tempt us to rebel against God’s ways of doing things. Sadly, I am afraid most will eagerly choose to remain blind to this because Satan has convinced them that their own ways are better than God’s ways.

If you’re in agreement with me on all this, I would ask that you join me in praying for these people. Pray that they have an experience with Jesus. Pray that the Holy Spirit intercedes in their lives. Pray and rebuke Satan who is blinding them.

But more than this, pray that you have the courage to speak up and share the truth about Jesus with people. Yes, Satan will attack you if you do; you’ll be called names and derided. But pray for boldness to tell the truth even if people don’t want to hear it. Tell people that Jesus loves them and has something better for them than what they are choosing. Tell them your own story about how you learned that God’s ways are, in fact, much better than your own ways. Tell them about how God loves them right where they are but loves them enough not to leave them there!

Tell them and then tell them again! Everyone is redeemable no matter how badly they have been blinded or how heinously they have acted. We want everyone to come to know Jesus – that is how we make a difference in this ever-growing darkening world.

4 comments

  1. Maryn · · Reply

    Tom, I was wondering when you would tackle a topic such as you’ve done here today. Much of it IS a sticky wicket – no pun intended. Wait, was that a pun? Sounded like one….must be all that ‘sexualization’ going on that would make a mind think that way. So, though I’m not into gratuitous sex and heavy PDA, I guess I’m guilty as charged.

    There are so many things to address here, but I’ll just hit on a few. I know you know me and my independent ways….I promise to keep it civil 😉

    I whole-heartedly agree with the horror that is sex trafficking, pornography of really any kind, pedophilia, rape, incest etc. Whether thought of as ungodly or just plain disgusting, they are all truly evil and the lowest of the low.

    The first thing that struck a nerve for me in your blog was the abortion issue. I know your argument isn’t about ‘sides’ – it’s about right and wrong in God’s eyes – so I’ll just go at it from that angle. Right or wrong, followers of God who accept him as their Lord and Savior do believe that they will be forgiven for their sins and wrong-doings. I have to believe that a woman who follows God, yet makes the gut-wrenching decision to have an abortion will indeed be forgiven and go to Heaven. While I have a million other thoughts and opinions on the subject, I’m not about to debate them here. However – because abortions ARE still legal, they do NEED to be safe, they need to have ‘term limits’ for lack of a better phrase and yes probably other THOUGHTFULLY planned regulations enforced as well (legal or not, they will continue to happen). Again, hopefully God will forgive this sin at the Pearly Gates.

    Struck-nerve number two…homosexuality. I read and re-read what you wrote. You seem to be saying that yes, homosexuals ARE born that way. I’m impressed that you said that! And if you mean only SOME of them were born that way, then I’m only a little impressed 😉 What was so striking is that you seem to say that if a homosexual is a true child of God, they will fight Satan’s pull in wanting to have sex with the person they were BORN to be with and be celibate by choosing abstinence for life. That leaves me speechless in that God would ‘make’ that homosexual in the womb (as you seem to say he does all babies) and then require him to be literally ‘sexless’ for life, just to please God. You said society has normalized homosexuality as something to be celebrated; well, if God made the homosexual, should their life not be celebrated just as a heterosexual life is?

    My last nerve issue was this: you lumped commercials for feminine hygiene products into the same pool as those that clearly objectify women or are just crudely sexual in nature, in general. I think that right there – that the idea of feminine hygiene is sexual at all – is indeed objectifying women.

    That’s it! I think we got through that pretty well ;-). I know so much more of your blog was about do many other aspect is sex… we could talk for hours on this subject. I just wanted to touch on a few things that stuck out to me. As I said several times above, hopefully all children of God will be granted the forgiveness for the sins they commit while on this earth. Because we are all just human – and none of us are perfect.

    1. Hi Maryn!

      I actually was thinking of you and how you would take some of this as I wrote! Just a few clarifications based on your note!

      1. I don’t think all homosexuals are born that way – if they were they would not convert and plenty have, swearing off that lifestyle saying they were wrong in embracing it. However, there are some that are for sure. That said, God didn’t make them that way. That’s the false premise. People are fallen so they are sinful. God didn’t make them sinful; sin was transmitted from the beginning. This is why we argue that EVERYONE needs Jesus – we are all born in need of a savior. Others are born with other thorns in their side, and yes, scripture calls us to die to ourselves, die to the world, and deny ourselves in those cases. Certainly sucks, but there are people who embrace that in the faith and do remarkably well. Check out a guy named Preston Sprinkle (yeah, I know…); he’s the new guru on Christianity and LBGT issues.

      I get your thoughts on abortion and I was pro-choice once in my life, too…until I saw that exhibit at OMSI of the different phases of a child and then read about God knowing me before I was born. Here’s a little known fact: I was supposed to be aborted. My mom was sick with MS and her docs told her that having me would compromise her greatly. She had me and never walked again and spent 20 years in a nursing home because of it. Talk about sacrifice! For her sake, I wish she had had the abortion! But, God had other plans for her and me.

      As for the lumping together stuff, probably a male-centric thing. They banned male hygiene stuff years ago – no more jock itch commercials! But, they kept he feminine hygiene stuff. Personally, I don’t want to explain to a five-year-old boy what a feminine douche is! 🙂

      I know we disagree on some of this stuff, but know I love you and it’s all good!

      1. minnersmom · ·

        Love you too, my friend 🙌. I know we don’t agree on too many issues – but that’s what keeps our friendship interesting, eh? That being said, I do have to slip this in…. douche commercials don’t air anymore – but even so, feminine hygiene is just that – hygiene. It is not SEXUAL. It can still be uncomfortable if you have to explain it to so so e underage, but it IS just hygiene – NOT SEX. Ok! That is all! 😂🙌😉

      2. Right! Not sex, but I’m just not a fan of any commercial dealing with genital health when small kids are watching. Still not appropriate. And…Summers Eve is still advertising! 🙂

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