Men: It’s Your Responsibility to Say NO!

I’ve always found it fascinating that in the Genesis account of the fall of man it is Adam who sins and Eve who is simply deceived. When you read the story, you learn that while Satan was tempting Eve to eat of the forbidden fruit, Adam was standing right next to her! Here’s the account from Genesis 3:

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.

This is so very important for we men to understand. While Eve was deceived, Adam was held responsible because he did not exercise his authority as the spiritual leader and keep Eve safe from the deception and temptation!

In this era of “Me Too,” I have a message for my Christian brothers:

It is not the woman’s job to say no to you. It is your job to say no to temptation and sin and keep the woman safe. God will hold you accountable!

I am blessed to teach part-time at a Christian university. In my role, God allows me to mentor a great group of college students. But what is disturbing to me is how many in this generation either fall to sexual sin or simply ignore the Bible’s teaching on it. I get that all college students have raging hormones! But as Christian young adults Christ expects more from them and from what I read in scripture it is the man’s responsibility to refrain not the woman’s!

Just thinking out loud, but perhaps this is why sexual sin and sexual assault are so prevalent; men are not exercising their God-given role appropriately. What if every man were to take seriously their job of protecting Eve from temptation by not contributing to that sin?

I get this is a completely different mindset than the world has today. Men for some reason feel entitled to women and take advantage of them in perverse ways. Maybe it’s the so-called “Hook-Up” culture, or maybe it’s just men are pigs. I don’t know.

But here is what I do know: Adam was held responsible for the sin of not keeping Eve safe and pure. My only conclusion can be that God will hold men responsible for not protecting the women in their lives. And this includes keeping them from committing sexual sin.

The bottom line is this: Men, it’s our responsibility to say no. Period.

You must say no to sex outside heterosexual marriage. You must say no to same-sex attraction (you may have it but you can’t act on it!). You must say no to the nearly overwhelming physical urge you and your girl may have. Yes, it’s brutal, but it is what God expects from you!

So, how in the world do you do it?

First, you run as far away from temptation as possible instead of seeing how close to it you can get without falling! I see too many young people snuggling up, napping together, doing full-body hugging and all the rest that does nothing but drive your libido crazy. Don’t do that stuff! You’re going to fall!

Second, as a couple pray to God to give you the strength to resist the temptation that is natural in your fallen state. Scripture tells us we will be tested but no test is so strong that we can’t find a way out. (1 Corinthians 10:13) You can resist even when you don’t want to!

Third, make God your first priority not your girlfriend. When she becomes your main focus, you will not be able to resist her nor truly protect her. Adam wanted to please Eve by trying the forbidden fruit not obey God by protecting Eve.

Lastly, show some personal courage and discipline! Act like a man not an animal!

You may be asking yourself why you should do all this? Let me share a couple of pieces of personal advice here.

There is no better way to wreck a friendship than to have sex. Sex is not the normal progression you go to when you like someone. Sex is something that God gives married couples for a very specific reason that you don’t earn until you marry. People get emotionally hurt by having sex outside marriage and it’s a lifetime wound.

The second thought is more important: God intends sex only in marriage because it is part of the mystery of marriage where two become one not just physically but emotionally, mentally and spiritually as well. When you have multiple partners pre-marriage you are sharing oneness with people with whom you will not continue to be one. That separation when it happens is painful. God would save you that! Oneness is intended for the covenant of marriage which is a life-long relationship. This is why God bans us from sex outside of marriage – it violates His plan for oneness in our lives.

So men, you need to understand that you are responsible to God in this area. You will be judged on whether you protected Eve or took advantage of her. You, not your girlfriend, are the one to say no.

Jesus didn’t say it would be easy to follow Him, He said it would be worth it. So my brothers, give some thought as to how you want to live your lives. Are you living for Jesus or are you living for self-gratification of your fallen body? Choose wisely.

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